allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
