Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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