I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
