i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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