All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
