Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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