Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
