he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize