Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
