Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
