She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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