he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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