do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
