just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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