Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
