Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
