Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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