There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
