im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
