so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
