I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
