How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize