I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
