I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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