So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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