I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
