Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
