yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
