I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
