I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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