My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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