3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize