She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize