why do cheetos always look like penises
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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