Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
