That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
