taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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