I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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