how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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