just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
the liver wants what the liver wants
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
