Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
