but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
