Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize