you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
