I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
