She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
