fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
