I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
