No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
