Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
