Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
