some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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