Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
