I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
