I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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