Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
