The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
