How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
