Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
is that a dick in a sweater?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
